rechallenged the addiction

I was uncertain whether to be furious or laugh out loud. The locker was mine. All the items in it were also mine. Yet it seems to be unfamiliar to me. Something is missing. Think. Bloody hell, someone took away my clean cloth. Seriously I couldn’t imagine why anyone would want my khaki short and t-shirt. Instead plenty more valuable items the person could stole, like my phone, wallet, digital camera, and even a laptop!

After sharing this with some of my friends, these are the possible explanations (or so logic could explained) for the act.

1 - Someone whose cloth has been stolen, thus he decides to just grab somebody else.

2 - Someone who despises me, and punishes me by not allowing me to shower and dress in clean cloth.

3 - Someone who plays an early April fool prank.

4 - Someone who has a crush on me; hence keeps my items as collectibles.

5 - Someone who was planning to take everything, but didn’t have the time.

And these are what I think.

1 - Christ, if that is the case, I should have stolen someone else too!

2 - Enemy? You have to be joking. Everyone loves me. And I don’t stink.

3 - Ha, ha, ha. So not funny at all.

4 - Flattering. Wonder who has his eyes on me.

5 - Thank God!

When I reported to the towel counter, the staff didn’t believe me at first. Same goes to the lady at the reception. What was missing?

My cloth.

Just your cloth? Nothing else?

Yes. I still have everything.

Hmm… I could tell she wasn’t buying into my story. She probably thought I was losing my head, or perhaps I have amnesia after the streneous exercising.

Anyway, she still allowed me to log a report for stolen items. But I doubt i will ever see my cloth again. I do really love that khaki short!

And now I can’t stop thinking about number four…

Debilitating and anguish. It always happens whenever I drank too much water the night before. And it did today. The haze is clearing up. The festive break is over. The work? Yet to be piled up.

An argument. A debate. it has always been this approach when speaking of homosexuality. NTV7 has recently done a short presentation in Edisi Siasat Chinese on homosexuality. An exploratory initiated due to the divorce of the acclaimed author Ou Yang Wenfeng, his public disclosure of his sexual identity, and his latest releases. It is hardly a one man show, and with the issue of homosexuality at hand, it probably will never be. People hate them, ignore their existence, refuse their rights, and shun them of their commitment. Yet these are the same people who talk so fondly of their heterosexism, their failed marriages, and their rhetorical religions of love and acceptance.

“Homosexuality is a developed concept. A concept so soluble where gays and lesbians have to resort to any sacred documentation to support their belief,” said a religious leader. And what do you have to say about people who twist the same documentation to legalize slavery or to criminalize scientists, or to conquer weaker nations. History doesn’t count. Alright then, what would you say about religious terrorism, penalization of novels and movies for minor details, dehumanization of gays and lesbians and other minorities who happen to be GOD-creation too. Though I know some would rather be the devil’s children, if it comes with better perks.

If the seed is not given sunshine and water, it will remain a seed. We really can’t blame the GLBT for not voicing out. It is not they don’t have the courage. It is the lack of sun-ray and H2O. How is it possible to come out of their closet, if the only expression that anyone gives is a cold shoulder or worse a cold, bloody stab. No one in their right mind would. It is of no particular reason why many GLBT prefer isolation; and in some situation a relationship isolation. Being homosexual is rough enough to live by, and on top of that your lover decides to call for pizza delivery because he is afraid to be see dining outside with another man. Not for Eric Goh, his partner left him a day before the TV interview in fear of exposing himself to the public eye. It is the price many pay to protect that little privacy they have.

You can have another man staying with you in a one-room apartment and the only possible sleeping arrangemet is a king-size bed. And still you are hoping to fool your parents that you are straight and just roommates. Isolation also comes to a point where you are married to someone and the only option for you to explore your sexual orientation is with some strangers. Homosexuality is not a marriage problem, but often it has become one. If homosexuality is what crumbles a marriage, then there shouldn’t be a marriage to begin with. Ou Yang has made it clear that marriage doesn’t mean anything, and it certainly doesn’t mean you are not gay anymore. Take it from someone who’s been there and done that, and even written it down in pages.

“It is not an issue of sexual act, rather it is a matter of sexual identity,” explained the author. It is the lack of understanding that spurs the hostile attempt at the issue. To add, Jian RongWei said that nothing can be solved if we only explore anything with positive or negative association. Living in the 21st Century it is hardly possible to ignore the constant changes around us. As what cited off Elbert Hubbard, progress comes from the intelligent use of experience; in which we learn to accommodate anew into our root.

While in Channel 9 Sahabat interview, a gay man expressed that society has emphasized that it is wrong to have a man and a woman to sleep in the same room, while it is alright for two guys. Hence this stimulates sexual experimentation among guys in their early stage of puberty. And interestingly the interview collected responses from general public, in which one stated that gays are basically soft in their physical and in the process of transforming into women. The same dick also said that gays are not men, they are a new species. Misunderstanding wouldn’t even sum up that remark. And more so to have an insensitive sexist to be the interviewer, it has done more damage comparably.

Just as war is freedom’s cost, disagreement is freedom’s privilege. - Bill Clinton

I need to two things badly:

A haircut…

and few winks.

Some men are so full of themselves. Some thought they were in control. All are true, but soon they would realize it was all a rule everyone plays by. It took almost a year for my friend Kate to come to realization that her man is never ever going to accept her as she is. He rather likes her in a passive position, where she would wait for him at home and cook his favorite supper. Something that not likely to drop into her agenda. And to make matter worse, she is in one of those professions that require quite an extensive of travelling. Christ, our last get-together was like months ago, and the one before that was probably a year back. It is like trying to catch a fly in Alaska.

When she decided to leave him, he was still stuck to that ego of his and kept cool about the relationship ending. Months later, they met up. It was the whole preppy talks that hit her why they weren’t mean to last. It was too good to be true. They were just happened to be at the right place and at the right time to have that relationship considered. Back then he probably didn’t know much about her personality and kept believing that he was protecting her. In clarity Kate doesn’t need any protection or any decision maker.

For instance, she let him make their arrangement because it was much easier for her to let him make the decision, but it doesn’t mean she didn’t have a brain of her own. She does. She thought she could quietly play his game. However much she tried, she couldn’t. It would certainly be a hazardous to herself for suppressing her character. Thus her move was for the better. And mind you after months of breaking up, he still couldn’t keep his hands off her completely, clinging to her hoping to get another go under her skirt.

Last night after spoken to her on the phone, she seems to be getting over the fact that not everyone is meant to be in a relationship, either it be monogamous or polygamous. Like what another friend CT said, “Some are good for flings and some are potential life partners. While some almost only remains in the long-term investment that simply worth the keep and maintenance, but not something that you fancy.”

And that phone call woke me to my own lifestyle. It has always been long-term investment. Nothing to lose except that when the investment starts to slip out of my hand; and also the numbers of opportunity to have a quick fling were quicker to brush aside than when it comes, somply for the reason of believing that the long-term investment is really the potential life partner. Given the time, the table has turned and the card is played differently. It is finally my call.

I awaken to the sound of locked door / Tapping footsteps softened by each second / Hearing that smooth machine of yours retrieves out the drive / Like the sex we had the night before / The warmth of you affixed to the pillow / Embracing me when I hugged

I pulled myself out of bed / Pulling the sheets off to wash / Together with the scattered attires on the floor / Your toothbrush has been rinsed / But you left a trail of toothpaste in the sink / I cleaned and dressed / Only in a pair of white brief / For the temperature is rising / And the sun blazed through the opened windows

Notes under mini-magnets on the fridge / In rush. Be back at 7. Love as always / Milk in bowl of cereal / Spooning drips into my mouth / Thinking what to do for the next million seconds

model: bruno schuind

A return vacation from Macau/HongKong…

Unfortunately the first 2-day photos were gone due to camera error. However I managed to save the rest of the journey, starting from the ride up to the Peak in HongKong Island.

Out of the city into Cheung Chao Island.

And another… Peng Chao Island.

To Sha Tin and back to Tsim Sha Tsui for celebration.

Boat ride to Lamma Island.

Macau.