Talk on
the phone about
lazy thursday afternoon
of the angst in thrown
by a mere apologise
How often I ended up being the casualty
Tune the channel
and linger on to
the last surreal shoulder
of a warrior
without the armor
Plain in sight
Perfect inside
Two weekends and two motion pictures - The European Film Festival has ended, with me only managed to catch Ocidental and Calling Hedy Lamaar.
A Romanian’s production, Occidental featuring Alexandru Papadopol, Dorel Visan, Tania Popa, and directed by Cristian Mungiu. It was a 3-dimensional plot in another 3-dimensional scene. The filmography was largely a revise of a technique of shoot-reshoot, in which you would see different angles into a similiar scene. Think of the Academy winner for Best Picture - Crash. It made you think of multiple characters, but eventually each of them would connect to one another through some expressive reasons. If you’d taken Psych 101 in college, you would doubtless have heard of Stanley Milgram and his “six degrees of separation” or its synonym “the small-world phenomenon”, or it would be better known as “baconology” after the actor Kevin Bacon and a surprising board game about such theory. It has every bit of Milgram in the process.
Recognition - Leeds: Best New Director Award; Clui International Film Festival: Best Picture; Cannes 2002: Quinzaine des Realisateurs; and more.
The infamous famous Calling Hedy Lamaar was another beautiful piece. Partly she was named the most beautiful woman in the world, and a genius in so many ways. It was a passionate film as it involved her children and friends in the making. An Austrian’s movie featuring Anthony Loder, Denise Loder-DeLucea, Charles Edie, Caitlin Stansel, and directed by Georg Misch. Shall we start off with her resume? Well, she was beautiful, and sadly most of that attributed to her beauty before cosmetic surgery. Told ya there’s nothing good in botox! Then she was the first woman who appeared nude in a movie that made her instant fame, because of the controversy it caused. She was not born Lamaar. She was a Kiesler. Lamaar is her chosen last when she entered Hollywood. She crossed path with many actors. And I mean crossed path as in not only professionally, but also personally. She was married six times! You might think she was a no brainer. Then you are certainly wrong. Though she didn’t win any Oscar, she did however earn various recognitions for her undocumented effort in designing the spectrum of wavelength or better known as frequency. Initially it was suggested for designated torpedo during the Nazi war, but look at where it is today - everywhere! So next time you receive or make a call, that is Hedy Lamaar. Her idea was beyond revoluntion that people was afraid to give it a try, not until 1981. What I admire about the movie is not the fact that it was shot as a documentary or a reproduction of a legend with some lookalike (i.e. Ray, Serena), but it was documented in a pleasant and heart-warming effect with the living and the death having a go at the scene. It is awesome. There was definately more research work done than one could imagine, and the fact that every breathing actor seemed so natural that you would suspect whether there is any script at all. No matter what the critics said, you have to watch it yourself. it is no Hollywood, but it has more than any big screen could offer - a sense of hope.
What could be worse than having a fight with friends over one night stand? Not literally doing it, but over lunch.
I don’t think I have the guts to do it.
No guts needed. Just you woody or glory.
That’s awfully cheap.
Come to think of it, it is cheaper than calling for room service.
Nothing but a quick fix, I’ll say. What is so satisfying about it?
The agreement of no string attach plus maximum pleasure.
Only if he is physically irresistable. Who cares what he thinks then.
What is there to lose? It’s not like you are still a virgin.
*Sheepishly* I
Drop the act. Yours is long expired.
I still prefer a lasting relationship.
Who isn’t, but be realistic, it is not buy-off-the-counter product, and more than often, it is not even on the shelf.
It is less emotional to stick to few hours of ‘togetherness’.
Two thumbs up on that.
You know what I think.
What?
Loser and a desperate loser!
Yes. Loser, who? Worse is the fact that we bitched about those who fondle the concept as well as those who foolishly refuse such offer.
On vacation is the ultimately ONS possibility, especially in a country where you are a stranger among many more (that alone is not the reason I love travelling). it is very much like Touch ‘n’ Go concept; no cash involves.
I couldn’t think of any vacation I’ve taken ever not having someone pulling afast one. Not that I’m gorgeous or anything, but being a ‘tourist’ does get the perks of getting noticed.
I had a couple of incidents during my vacation abroad. Like the recent trip to Hong Kong, it was truly raining men. My friend has only one word to describe the attention I was getting - aura; or maybe she was slightly envious and ever-so-ready to proclaim every man in HK is somewhat sitting on the fence. each encounter is unque yet none of them has entered into first base. And with one in particular - an extreme obvious hit-and-run.
It was at the ferry terminal with the usual waiting, and I shall skip the ‘eye-signal’ part where even my friend (who is straight) sensed that this guy was gawking at me. What started as a friendly look-see-look-see turned into a sex-pot-traumatized; on the ferry he pretended to talk to his friends but only so that he could read my every move. Then he moved closer and seated with his back facing me. What happened next was beyond me - a sin to one’s eyes, eye candy to some, or as simple as come-fuck-me-now! He had his pant adjusted really, really low… on purpose! *Speechless* And Mr McDonalds would surely roll his eyes!
But encounter does not happen only during vacation. It could well be your daily dose. Take last week for instance, after workout I was walking to Lot 10 when all of a sudden this guy stopped me.
Where you from?
Err… Malaysia.
Oh, where you going?
Lot 10.
I stay there. *Pointing to hotel*
Hmm how long you’ll be staying in KL? *I am only being polite, I swear!*
Until Wednesday. You want to come back with me?
*Hold it, was that a pick-up line?* Err… No, I have to go for lunch.
You can eat in my room. I will eat with you.
*More like ‘I will eat you’* I am meeting with some friends for lunch. *I lied* I’m late. *Looking at my wrist then foolishly noticed I don’t have a watch on me. Quick, get that HP out* I really have to go.
I stay at room XXX. Come meet me after your lunch.
Okay *What I’m supposed to say!* Nice meeting you. *Taking quicker steps* Bye.
Bye. See you later.
I could still remember that face, that grin, and that seductive body language. No, I did not return to room XXX after my lunch. Come to think of it, I should have taken up on that offer of eating in. At least it is better than eating alone, and not to forgot, the Creme Brulee!
If you haven’t notice, it was ‘lunch’ around one in the afternoon in ‘public’. How daring (or desperate) a person can get. If it takes guts to jump into ons, then it must have cost the other person the entire intestinal organs.
And you want to know something, both incidents happened when I was wearing my new spec, whether it was working its charm on me, I shall find out the next time I put it on.
Disclaimer: No virgin was injured in the event of that dialogue. Color-coded is merely an attempt of anonymity and has no other ‘hidden’ message unless otherwise mentioned.
Just got back from the MPPJ crematory. My friend’s dad is saying goodbye. It was my first time experiencing an Indian funeral ceremony.
The day got gloomer when a friend called later and accidentally disclosed her salary. It was twice as much as what I was getting, and what does she do… she sits around and answers call.
That got me recalled another friend’s friend who is (or was, if he is no longer working there) working as a security guard. His income… is the same as mine, or was it slightly higher. And he sits equally as much as that earlier friend.
I swear to you the salary scheme is totally screwed up! Doesn’t intellectual comes with any price anymore?
Saturday was unaccompanied. I went for my usual morning yoga. Then lunch. After that the whole afternoon was spent in Borders. I could probably pass off as a statue. I had toby Young lastest release in my hand - The Sound of No Hands Clapping. A diminutive Brit testing the water for the third time, in the field of profound non-fictional writing, and nonetheless unravelled paradigm of journalism (I did say hypothetical, didn’t I). Time does move much rapidly, especially interest implies. A solitude measure in a congested population; something I’ve not done in more than a year. It does feel good.
I’ve been measuring my day-to-day lifestyle. And it hurts me to realize that two years has passed, with me in this big city, and everything so easily reprieves. Why did I choose to live here then? That got me remember of other countries I’ve visited thus far. Not that I’ve been to that many places, but sufficiently enough with respect to my minute earning. each location has its ’sexiness’ and being a non-license-no-driving person, I has to consider the x factor - conveniences of public transportations. Though I can’t really sat that KL offers that immediate x factor, but it does to some extend, provided getting use to some of its indistiguishable shortcomings. I was cursing the hell out of Hong Kong bus system, with its multiple bus-stops and complicated instruction. Then again I was a freaking tourist and the universal understanding of tourist is that they should never take other transports except taxi or train. One runs by direct command and and the latter operates in a timely fashion with comprehensible instruction; and if you ever got lost or stranded with these, then you ought to stay put at home. Well unless you happened to experience a cabbie that has no sense of location or direction what-so-ever, then you are screwed with the capital S.
Singapore and Japan are two places I would have no trouble staying and moving about. While Thailand and Cambodia might not necessary exhibit that x factor with its dangerously-driven trishaw, yet I wouldn’t mind nestle there, only for the hospitality and generosity of their people. So what is stopping me from getting onto the next plane to these countires and build myself a ‘life’. I don’t have a definate answer to that, but I do know being close to ‘home’ is a contributing factor. Why don’t I head home then, back to the island? And then what? Yes, will I find a ‘life’ there? It shouldn’t be that difficult. LOL I was born and raised there, and so were my parents, grandparents and probably ancestors too! I did turn out pretty alright, at least not a ’sampah masyrakat’ (useless bastard, sarcatically). So I should be able to make a reasonable living and get to do my annual vacation break in another country. I believed that if I travel at least one country per year, then I would be able to cover the globe before I reach retiring age. Nothing impressive really compares to ‘around the world in eighty days’ but it is a personal achievement, something I’ll be able to show my children later of the pictures I’ve taken in different places.
Wait a minute! I can’t believe my thought is running like a headless poulet like what Binh would refer. Anyway that is another story to tell on a later post. Please focus on the interest at hand! Where was I? Ah Yes, in a howling capital that has its diversity, people comes and goes without leaving any trace; a city like a house that roofs strangers, who breathe the same substance yet has nothing in relevance to one another. It is distinctively lonely. A word that hits a person even in unexpected manner, like often said alone is when I am with someone else, and that has a compromising effect on a person’ aging.
I long for ‘home’. Or I am shortage of friends (not the disposable ones). Or simply I am in the mid of searching for that spark; a thrill of affection. it is a lonesome affair, opposing to the existing camaraderie. Tête-à-têtei s only a promising language. What am I afraid of? The in-between feeling of compromising the little I have. Perhaps I was trying to prove a point by staying put. Like the time where I was the only student in my scool doing ad-maths with only minimal tutoring, and I passed. Like the time where I chose a field that many believed would only end up in misery or the fact that only a pure-science leaver could do ‘psychology’, and I prove them wrong, I graduated. Like the time where I graduated but has not locate a job, people has their doubt of me ever finding a job, but I secured a profession with a hospital within the same month. i’d challenged myself, meanwhile assuring my parents that I did do the right thing even though it does sometimes appear wrongly.
Sunday was no longer holy. Though the bell continues to caress my ears and the foundation is less than a distance away. I am afriad of getting out of bed, but not of the fact that loneliness would creep behind my footsteps. Octavio wrote ‘Solitude is the profoundaest fact of the human condition. Man is the only being who knows he is alone.’
