Thursday, April 20, 2006

h.a.l.f._b.a.k.e.d.

If April isn’t screwing me enough, I dare say she just snap the last of my nerve this morning. Painstakingly I woke up with cramps in my legs. Yes, from last night workout. Not sex, you horn-dog.

Tell me again why the fuck did I join a gym. Back then I would have snorted the idea of me stepping into one. What more having a one-year membership! I must be mad (or delusional) when the contract was pushed under my nose.

Confession: I did entered a gym once or twice with friends, mostly just for the company (with the exception of one time I was typing on a laptop critically reviewing the crime scene), but never did I ever touch any exercise machine.

Gym – a fish market nonetheless. Everything is on sales, including the scale machines. The assortment – steel-tone walking muscles (repulsive), lean-mean flaunting curves (enticing), dress-to-kill fashionista (impressive), lost-and-found wannabe (mortifying), and on goes the list.

What am I trying to express? To be continued…

Posted by arqsim at 09:09:43 | Permalink | No Comments »

Monday, April 17, 2006

t.e.n.a.c.i.o.u.s._b.u.r.r.s.

Shall we deny love when it visits us? Shall we not take what is given to us? - a quote from the film “A New World”

An afternoon, a humid atmosphere, I walk down the foyer, which was never there, for the reason after.

Even the solid fades, the occupied deserts, the midst clears, the circle inverts; none but the least, much to suffer a cease.

Leaving a trail is tougher than sourcing in lost. A compass, a directional device, opting for an advice, aware of the points to revise, a path of despise.

Calling who hears, moving who touches, exhaling who smells, ignoring who sees, and cursing who speaks. A tool for love, so goes a weapon to abate, what comes from above, ends in its own fate.

Shall we welcome love when it is a stranger? Shall we not return what is not rightfully ours?

Posted by arqsim at 03:52:25 | Permalink | No Comments »

Friday, April 14, 2006

w.a.i.t.i.n.g.

Spoken of the tracks of the railway, the sounding of the departure, the footstep of the people, the connection they made.

Wait - was what I did, not knowing when is my ride coming, which one to hop onto, who am I riding with, how long does it take, where is my destination.

The paper in my hand, sweat seeping through the pages, blurring the words that were printed, unable to comprehend anymore, to the trash, to be recycled.

Spoken of the terminal of the airport, the sight of the plane arriving, and then of the passengers, the direction they came.

Wait - was what I did again, not knowing when is the flight, which terminal it disembarks, who is on my list, how list has it been since the last we met, where is our destination.

The cup in my hand, coffee chilling away, losing its warmth and aroma, starting to weigh more than its mass, no longer pleasant, to the nearby bin, or to be reheated.

Is there ever an end point, or is it a point of ending?

Posted by arqsim at 16:10:55 | Permalink | No Comments »

l.a.b.u.a.n.

Spotted this at img83/2537/guide014af.jpg while doing a search for places to visit at East Malaysia, as my colleagues will be flying there for vacation in a few days time, and will be staying there for 2 weeks.

Posted by arqsim at 07:00:20 | Permalink | No Comments »

b.e.a.s.t._i.n._d.i.s.g.u.i.s.e.

Something taken from Arvind (http://creativecriminal.blogspot.com/)…

Posted by arqsim at 03:40:44 | Permalink | No Comments »

f.l.y._a.s._a._f.l.o.c.k.

If infection is a choice, no one would pick that option.

But if transmission is a choice, no one would bother.

In the late 50’s stamped the earliest documented case of HIV-1, which was found in blood sample of a man in Kinshasha, Democratic Republic of Congo. Source of infection – indefinite, as the theory of chicken and egg.

Today, over 40 million people (UNAIDS/WHO, 2005) are tagged with the barcode. It is like waking up one morning and realizing that you are stuck with a permanent bad-hair day. Day after day living the same cause, an epitome of Groundhog Day, nothing could help to smoothen it. Even breaking the radio clock won’t help. The only available alternative is an incessant cup of strong coffee that would pump your adrenaline and steer your system, but all is fatal, and eventually irresponsive to the crisis.

Again like the chicken and the egg, in a distinctive approach (an arguable statement), the mother hen lays eggs, some eggs hatch and out come little chicks, as time goes by they grow older, they mate, the female hens lay more eggs, which then hatch and produce a pool of chicks, and with the clock ticking by, the cycle continues.

Now, replace the hen with a female person. It is a simple reproductive and developmental cycle.

Like the chicks, we all age, but not necessarily wiser.

Anything that breathes, stops puffing oxygen someday. But along that line of being alive, shit can happen.

Avian influenza A (H5N1) virus contagiously infected flocks with wings, and gradually domesticated the wings that we put in our mouth. While chicken has that to worry about, we have HIV.

I must have caught the chicken and egg syndrome, as my next line will once more perpetuate in that vicinity. The virus hits the producer and the producer keeps producing. What will happen to the product? Indeed, shit, as bad as it smells.

We moaned for the victims of terrorism and war. We sympathized those lives that taken by natural disasters. We prayed for world peace, hunger, poverty, and global-warming. Yet we never thought of writing down the 3-letter word in our prayer list.

HIV enrolls into the life of an innocent being, who should be blamed? Is that a point necessary to be addressed? If something is irreversible, why attack?

Society in general overlooks the issue, and continually ponders over needless questions and endless pretext. A prolong hibernation. A habit of ignorant. A discriminatory approach. A mindless stigmatization. A person endangered. A person wasted. Are you a person?

If we fear so much of avian virus and take every possible measures to tackle it, while we only fear HIV and not putting any effort in suppressing it. Stopping the spread is not an institutional responsibility, but a joint venture of individuals. Either you infect others or you be infected by others. Thus like a fallacious rumor, it starts from you to make an end, to make it right.

Think of what a single person like you can do to make a difference. It is only a problem when no solution has been thought of. It is only impossibility when no trail and error has been executed. It is only others’ responsibility when no you has been born. If you are reading this, assuming you were once born, and breathing, and alive, and Boleh!, then it is your responsibility too. Sure, responsibility can be shitty at times, but as long as you are living, you continue to shit, and a smart move is to clean up your own shit.

**Article published in the paper this week, quite satisfied with myself with the work.

Posted by arqsim at 03:05:27 | Permalink | No Comments »

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

b.i.g._d.a.y._f.o.r._t.h.e._l.i.t.t.l.e._g.u.y.

It takes a second elapsed the day and a second due the night, to alter a person, in perception,, in maturity, in relation to who to be. Stoned… was what I felt for that 24 hours - an unconscious day to spend, or to be spent, or more like wasted.

Why attraction has to be like a piece of meat to be hunted, devoured, and then what left is bones and what-not. Why can’t it be as simple as searching for a fragrance, something that stays, and be reminded of its exquisiteness whenever possible?

 (a gift from a close friend, thanks for the scent and sense…)

I am older, compared to yesterday. Yet why do I feel none the wiser. I felt as if I am a fruit with only its peel to hang onto, nothing but the hundred seeds within, without its flesh. I felt empty, for the first time ever. Even without many things in life, I never once did felt that way before. Is it has something to do with aging? Or is it just me waking up from naivety.

Left hand: bare

Right hand: zilch

If only like atomic theory of negative and negative derive the sign for positive. Indeed, if only…

Posted by arqsim at 01:47:35 | Permalink | No Comments »

s.i.n.g.u.l.a.r.i.t.y.

Posted by arqsim at 01:29:33 | Permalink | No Comments »

s.u.m._o.f._p.a.s.t._w.e.e.k.s.

Taken while waiting for the train

Time Square Food Court/Theme Park

Klue’s Best - satay house

Posted by arqsim at 01:19:19 | Permalink | No Comments »