Friday, March 30, 2007

Tomorrow is a big day for me. I will pay a visit to the gym… and probably will never step foot in another gym anytime soon. Rather similar to getting the final fuck from an ex (except i don’t know when was the last!). And like break up, I always owe not to rush into another relationship again (and that notion only last for a month or so until I finally becomes needy, sexually and emotionally deprieved). So… be it gym or finding the right guy, quitting is only a phase.

And being a self-conscious gay, I tak-sempat-hati-ly changed my default picture on my online profile. It is esteem-boosting for the few months when the chest-baring pic of me was put up. The amount of attention is speechless. But I shall not be ‘lust’ anyone to believe that I am a gym buff (in which I never was!). It does help in the future if you meet me and expect “tone & lean” but found “a flat tyre”… I don’t have to say “oh, it’s just a mirage you saw”.

Posted by arqsim at 12:00:21 | Permalink | No Comments »

s.h.a.l.l._i._a.s.k.

I ask for my own death

I smuggled the lots over the boarder

I keep

And I selfishly yearn

As night approaches

I partake the fruit

Cough with each bite

Choke on each swallow

The yearning for the flesh is greater than the air

I regret not

If to die in the hand of the buah salak

—————————-

I ask for my own space

And I was never filled

—————————-

I ask for my own guide

And I got a lost soul

—————————-

I ask for my own agenda

And I was given yours

Posted by arqsim at 02:39:12 | Permalink | No Comments »