rechallenged the addiction

One month ago… I said “I do”

Today I celebrate a fleeting anniversary

Of being seen with heavy literatures

Of being burden with take-home tasks

And of being paid to study

The emperor treatment is short lived

Of worse is to be treated like children

No bargain

No stipulation

Plenty of inconvenience and misinterpretation

I’d like to believe

It will soon be better

More organized

Yet skepticism

Thus criticism

Beyonce sang it

The course mate said it

My subconscious mind decipher it

Deja vu

Does it speak louder than the surface?

Will I prevail?

Will I succumb?

The answer is parallel to the race

Of duress

Of chaos

Yo! Educate us, not sedate

Variance topics, not repitition

Unquestionably the most catastrophic syllables

Forum positivism

It ought to develop our venture and opinion

Walk the talk

Function what is expected

As we too have counter expectation

Then we shall be inquisitive

We shall be constructive

And all is well

All is respected

Ecological saving you say

Yet I don’t see you go hug trees

One side you preached paperless online submission

Another side you enforced printed documents

For Allah’ sake! It is just disposable/biodegradable cup

The Pentagon security system is embarrassingly less sounded than what you installed

However notwithstanding that nothing is properly put

Though I barked

I whined

No doubt there is something in return

Countable and uncountable gains

The theory

Then the application

With maturity

I do anticipate

The demand-supply curve of the IF

To be ever promising

Here… dots my breath…

The Beaver speaks “The porperty is.. blah blah blah… risk caused by elements… blah blah blah” There goes my next three hours. Blogging is only tempting in this particular class… at the same time it feels like I am doing something sinful. What is the average attention span of a person?

Feel the roughness in this land

The soil

Its people

How can you love if you don’t know

How can you know if you never care

How do you care if the last thing on your mind is yourself

Love is bare

And never spare

I refuse sex not for fear but of not wanting to know how bad it would be. Or how sinfully good and addictive it would be.

Ever wonder why we read? Reading, among others, is an infinite task. You can never read enough, just like you can never stop eating. NOW satisfaction does not guarantee THEN satisfaction. You can be full after a plentiful buffet but it never last long as your craving of hunger continuously growls.

So why read then? One sure reason is it makes a great tanle conversation. However this varies from a table of close friends, to a table of strangers, to a table of petential partners. It is safe to say that knowledge of books would be a waste if the table is of brainless people or no-string-attached sexual partners, unless it is about karma sutra and the like.

Does reading make you smarter? Is it addictive? Even if you read multiple versions of encyclopedia, all you ever be is more knowledgeable than others, and the possibility of being labeled as the infamous walkie-pedia, unless if you cycle all the time then only you can claim to be encyclopedia, or the E in the word FREAK or NERD. Similarly to ‘work smart and not hard’, choosing the right reading materials is crucial, and applying what you’ve read may shed some light on how smart you might be. Ever ponder why coffee bar is found boomingly in a bookstore? It is a platonic scheme. The more you drink the more you can sit comfy and read. The reverse can be said as the more you read the more coffee you buy (I never said this is an economist’s theory).

To steall a thread from a friend’s blog, can reading be sexy? More importantly where and what do good-looking people read? On a rule of thumb they are almost never be seen in the classical or self-help literatures sections (and no, I never step into that zone either, other than the time I had to pick up Ulysses for a project paper). But they can be found exclusively at the magazine’s section. One can easily determine the person’s intellectual and personal taste, and in a strict observation one can even identify their sexual preferences! Though Men’s Health is catered for men in general, it is profoundly intriguing to notice that most gay men (by ratio as to heterosexuals) would browse, ogle, or purchase it.

No matter how desperate you are, in a bookstore, the chance to look for anything remotely close to a sexual/relationship encounter is zero. Most people are enslaved by the spoil-for-choice selections and indulged in the book as if any minute they might start eating it off their hands. I’d say most.

It is understood that although you might be standing dangerously close to the next person, READING and nothing more, small talks or whatever pick-up lines are very rare. The day some stranger (preferably cute ones) strikes up a conversation in a bookstore with me would most likely be the day I find a leprechaun riding on a unicorn in my backyard (just to be on the safe side). Come to think of it, self-masturbation is closely reflected in bookstore etiquette. You feel each other presence, yet you never intrude on the others’ territory; whilst their response is motivating you to do the same, with equal enthusiasm. Your satisfaction is dependable on your own action and at your own pace. You may cum/leave anytime you like once you’re done. Hypothetically you can say reading is sexy, with a little imagination and eye candy, that is.

Deliberately

Spontaneous

Howelse should I anticipated

Breating the air you exhaled

Lusciously

Reprimand

How else should I responded

Red light

Hold on

Stay put

We need shelter for the density of our temptation

Secure

Steady

Tha’s how you made me feel

Ready

Green light

Sting and sore

What else we’d missed out

Suplementary lubrication

Superb sensation

How did it turn out

Contented

No consequences

Remembering too well of a latex covering

That keeps unwanted intruders off the track

HIV off the rail

STI off the record

No more enduring the guilty feeling

H2O-lubricated

No more withstanding the painful feeling

Dense as it comes

Missed a chance to live

Cautioned on necessary protection

Tempted by lust

Started by trust

Ended by expectation

Appreciated by anticipation

Making an effort to blog about something can be somewhat tedious. Considering the fact that last two weeks had been the slowest and dullest ever. I was expecting an all-round-party-fun (and perhaps orgy session) with the commencement of my studies. Disappointed. Not only the fact that there’s no irresistable cute guys, but also no irresistable cute professor (ok I know that never happen except in movies). The only distraction in class is probably the vaguely familiar subjects and the foldable chair-to-table-and-table-to-chair thing.

As sexually deprived it is only normal that I find myself slightly disgusted at the thought of engaging myself in quickie. Yes, opportunity is often there (although I don’t think that opportunity extends to a surprise massage). Of cos that doesn’t mean I exclude the idea of practices, but merely a question of getting used to it. And more so many might scream that such opportunist is unsound for and brings a bad name to the already-stigmatized community… and worst still ‘that is not the norm of a gay man’. But what is? And who set the bar?

Cookie monster!

Sorry for the bad photo pixels; been using my phone to snap instead of digicam.

No you see…

Now you don’t.

Weeks long… long passed… and the Ninja jumps…

Left to right (only food): avocado & soft-shell crab namaharu, seafood papaya moto-yaki (really tasty!), vegetarian tempura platter, ishiyaki agedashi dofu, and macha and kugogoma ice cream (too delicious that even the camera is slower than the mouth!)

“You are the best of the crops”… The President assured. I could sense the tension rising - the killer’s look. Undoubtedly this study arrangement is going to be a very competitive one. Something I am eager to explore yet at the same time I am feeling the urge to run away. One thing for sure I am going to study again, regardless whether I like it or not. The books they provided look heavy (both in wieght and content) and the faculties seem demanding. Anyhow it is way too late to backout now. What’s done is done.

Here’s an interesting novel I read last month which took me 2 weeks to complete. Drained but worthwhile.

And I also bought this cool clock over the weekend…

Yesterday at Midvalley I took this photo… an annoying fact that more and more people are smoking in public area without giving a two hoots about others. Should government do something? Is the million-ringgit tak nak campaign effective?